The Cure of Pain: God

“you know i would choose you.

you are the one,

you are my world.”

 

some have found God in the depths of their sins,

some have searched the deserts of their hearts for God

and there are some who have travelled across many continents

in their search for God.

but me?

i have found God through you.

 

everytime you leave me withered on the ground

everytime you have trodden on my precious heart

everytime you have made me feel worthless

everytime you make those false promises that you never keep

and

everytime i turn my soft heart towards you, begging you for forgiveness

everytime i have put your feelings before mine

everytime i have made myself believe your lies

everytime i remember the poison you have brought to my heart

ever since you have entered it.

 

you have taught me

that you can never be mine.

you have taught me

the art of detachment.

you have taught me

how to be strong.

you have taught me

that i have nobody but God.

 

i am grateful to God for showing me

the pain of attachment

everytime i get too close

to your loving words.

i am grateful to God for allowing me to see

the beauty of being alone

everytime i feel lonely

because you’re too far away.

i am grateful to God for giving me the

strength that i need to

overcome this

sadness.

i am grateful to God,

even though i cannot always see

past my despair.

 

in my despair,

i forget that relief is near.

instead, i am possessed with this crippling anguish

that does not leave.

it eats at my heart and soul

breaking through the fortress i have built.

i cannot tell you how many times

i have experienced this pain

but each time it hits me,

it is harder than the last time.

i cannot see past it

but somehow i realise that

this feeling is not new.

it has come before and it will come again.

It has left before and it will leave again.

 

“you are not the only one

for i have God

and i would choose Him

again and again

for eternity.

He is before all creation

and He is all i could ever need.”

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